Back to Work

I started back to work this past Monday. Duke was 12 weeks old to the day.
The first night was tough....on him and Dad. I actually felt pretty good! I felt energized, kind of excited to be back at work, healing the world, one person at a time ;-) (Inside joke with a coworker of mine).
But seriously, I had 3 new patients my first night back and it felt really good to be problem solving with them and helping to get them better.
At home, Daddy and Duke had a rough first go at it. There were some tears and resistance to the bottle. But eventually, the little guy settled down and was asleep when Mommy got home.
Night two, not so bad! Daddy got little Duke down for a "nap" around 6 PM and he was sleeping still when I got home. I topped him off around 930 PM and he went right back to sleep.
Night 3: They had a great night! Duke ate all his meals from the bottle (last feeding at 630 PM) and went to sleep at 830. I just got home at 930 and all is well in the Van de Mark household! I worked a full shift from 3-9, treating 7 patients and it went by really fast. I even did a quick 15 min upper body workout before I came home (trying to get the guns back before summer).

I admit AFTER hearing the first night went the way it did, I struggled with a lot of guilt.
Guilt that I can't stay home and comfort my baby. Guilt we don't live frugally enough that we could afford me staying home on Jeff's paycheck. Guilt that I decided to work evenings instead of during the day so I could be the one to put him to bed at night.

It only took ONE night for the little guy to adapt and everyone is doing well. Guess Mommy may not be so special afterall!! ;-)

What it really means is that this family is a family of 3 (4 if you count Miss Pebs) and Daddy and Duke will have their special bond and do nighttime together and they will THRIVE at it!

Mommy and Duke will have our mornings. And we will enjoy that time together SO much! Already this week, I am treasuring each moment with him so much more than I did last week. I don't want to rush him thru any feedings or lay him on the floor to play while I do something else. I want to hold him, caress him, play WITH him and catch every smile, every giggle, and every sad face I can before I go to work.

Being a parent is better than I could have ever guessed. I don't mind the dirty diapers at all, I don't even mind the blowouts. Even the middle of the night feedings! I really love each moment I get to spend with him and I will take him any way I can get him!